Movies I love
The Royal Tenenbaums(500) Days of Summer
Une Femme Est Une Femme and Pierrot le Fou
Wanted (with Angelina Jolie), Fight Club, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist, Moonrise Kingdom, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Vicky Christina Barcelona, Amelie, The Lover, LOL, Blue Valentine, and Inception
Books I Want to Read
-The Chelsea Handler books
-The Mindy Kaling book
-Babe Walker’s book (white girl problems)
-Tina Fey’s book
-Sarah Colonna’s book
Recent Update
So I may or may not be going to the Trey Songz concert. I’m actually so excited! Like I need to pick out an outfit, get my ticket, and oh yeah go shopping.
Relationships
They’re scary.
And I always say I want one, but I don’t think I’m actually ready for one. It’s so hard to open yourself up and put yourself out there. Exposed. That’s the word for it. You leave yourself open for someone else to hurt you. They have a certain power over you because they know all the parts of you that nobody-not even you, can see.
In the past, I’ve learned that you have to take the good with the bad. But looking back, I wish I could say it was worth it. I wish I could fool myself into believing that I will be fine on my own.
At the end of the day, no matter how well you think you know a person, they surprise you. And it turns out you don’t really know them at all. How can you go from being each other’s best friends to complete strangers?
Tonight
Number of Guys I hooked up with: 5
Number of Shots I took: 7
Number of Times I wanted to take someone back: 2
Number of Times I regretted tonight: 0
Number of Times I was annoyed with someone: 1
Thing I wouldn’t admit to otherwise
- I shop-lift…a lot..
- I feel depressed sometimes.
- I’m good at pretending like I’m ok.
- I have thought about running away.
- I have used alcohol as a means of an escape from reality.
- For that matter, I use books to escape too.
- I can be very belligerent and abusive sometimes. I push people away because I’m afraid of being hurt.
- I have unresolved daddy issues. That I probably need to work on…
- I seek comfort in the form of male intimacy. And get hurt in the process.
- I have been called passive aggressive.
- I have a rebellious streak. I like to push myself to the edge (which is quite dangerous actually).
- I am a perfectionist in some aspects.
(Source: littlemissmaria)
Trying to live in the now
“A few times in my life I’ve had moments of absolute clarity, when for a few brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be.”
(Source: littlemissmaria)
Life
Sometimes, you have to pretend like everything’s okay…even when it’s not. I wish I could tell my mom everything. I wish I had someone who could understand. I wish we didn’t have to fake a smile for the sake of appearing sane. I hate crying, but sometimes the tears come without even trying. I try so hard to bury the negatives in my life, but they resurface somehow. I don’t know why I it’s so hard to find happiness now. Everything is crumbling. Why? I seriously don’t understand what I did to deserve this.
My roommate has bul-shitted out of her ass to the extent that I’m in the danger of being kicked out of this university. All the guys that enter my life treat me like shit. It’s like a cycle now, I’m only attracted to people who I know will never care for me. And I’m scared all my friends are moving on. I can understand though. Why would they want to be friends with somebody who is so messed up in the first place?
I just wish life was easy. I wish pain didn’t exist and everyone could find happiness one day.
(Source: littlemissmaria)
Update
I just missed my Chemistry discussion because I overslept. I could have caught it…if I sprinted and didn’t brush my teeth, but I really had no desire to. So I sat in my room, ate, listened to music (T. Mills, Lana Del Ray, Usher), and Tumblr-ed. All while drinking my Arizona Half Iced & Half Mango (the best fucking thing ever). I’m going to a frat barn dance tonight, so um yeah that should be exciting. Except I want to get my eyebrows done. Decisions. Decisions. I have a Psych lecture at 2. I hate going to class.
Well that’s all for now. Ciao bitches.
(Source: littlemissmaria)
Stuff I’m Listening to Right Now
Ron Paul-A Drop in the Ocean
Los Campesinos-You! Me! Dancing!
Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Soft Shock
Coldplay-Fix You
Keane-Somewhere Only We Know
Bombay Bicycle Club-Sixteen
(Source: littlemissmaria)
